h1

Good Attitude Thursday

November 5, 2009

Yesterday I got called out for not being “rah-rah” at work. It kind of stung. I’m big on morale, and at my last job I took initiative to come up with morale-building activities for staff meetings. This year for some reason has been harder. Everyone is feeling it, but part of my job is to be positive. 

Yesterday I sucked at it. 

So I decided today was Good Attitude Thursday. And for most of the day, it worked. I had a great attitude at work. I was positive, rolled with the punches, and ended up with a good day. I have plans for tomorrow- Positive Friday- but then I got home today. 

And it all kind of went kerfluey. The dog drove me nuts, then the cat did, then I was snipping at everyone. What happened? 

I think I used up all my Good Attitude. So tomorrow I will use the positive more judiciously, so I have some left for home, too.

IMG_3700

h1

Finding myself Wordless

November 4, 2009

Last time I returned to blogging, I had found a voice. 

This time, I feel like I’ve lost it. 

Photos will have to do. 

Oct 09 ed 007

h1

Today

November 4, 2009

I had pumpkin spice creamer in my coffee. 

Refrained from eating too much chocolate at work. 

Had two travel mugs full of coffee. 

Spent almost an hour in a time out room with one of my kids. 

Got close to tears when one of my kids was having a really difficult day. 

Almost knocked an eye out when I got hit with a ball. 

Got really annoyed with some coworkers. 

Paid the bills. 

Talked to friends. 

Worked at two jobs, technically. 

Ate dinner three hours earlier than we usually do, at 6:00pm. 

Procrastinated editing. 

Watched So You Think You Can Dance, cried. 

Couldn’t think of anything else to blog about… this isn’t going well!

IMG_1071

h1

Not sure…

November 2, 2009

What to say, I think. 

There’s so much, and so little. Photography business taking root, new house, new puppy. Quit WW. Still working. 

There you have it. 

I’m out of practice composing blog posts in my head during the day. It feels like the stories have come and gone. Do I go back and tell them? Or just move forward? I don’t know. 

IMG_9535

 

h1

Well

November 1, 2009

We’ll see if I remember, but here’s to giving NaBloPoMo a shot again. Better get one up before midnight, wouldn’t want to miss the first day of the year!

 

IMG_2436

h1

Oh, that again.

July 25, 2009

Mm-hmm. 

I started Weight Watchers again. AGAIN. Like, for the, well let’s not talk about how many times. I REALLY like that Getting Started book, let’s just leave it at that. 

I just wasn’t feeling right. I’m still not. I feel uncomfortable in my body, in my skin. I don’t feel spry, and it’s just… everything is harder. Amazingly, looking in mirrors still sometimes surprises me. It’s like… oh. Hmm. That fat girl. Yeah. 

So, I went back. I have a friend who went back, and I thought we could do it together. Ish. She lives too far to really do it together. But we have text support. 

My first two days I didn’t do the diet. I tracked all my points, just to see. I ate normal days, didn’t go crazy in a “last weekend” kind of way. I ate at least double what I should be eating in those days. Nice little hint to myself about how I got as fat as I did… So sad. 

I lost a pound my first week. Not only was Khalil gone, so I missed him, but I was also in charge of my own lunches and dinners. And I haven’t done too bad. I have to say. 

But when I was sitting in the meeting, pondering my pound, so many thoughts came up. I kept trying to tell myself that slow and steady wins the race. But I couldn’t help but do some math. Like, 1 pound a week for a year puts me 52 pounds lighter. Which is AWESOME. But which is… heavier than I was at my wedding 5 years ago, last time I did WW. It makes me so sad, thinking about all the weight I’ve gained in five years. Over FIFTY pounds. Seriously. That’s just… sad. It makes me think of wasted time, makes me regret how hard it is for me to make good choices. 

This time, hopefully, I’m picking myself up and dusting myself off. Trying to be excited about the small success, and also keep the big picture in mind- a healthier me. A me that is comfortable in her own skin. And maybe a wee bit cuter.

h1

Making Small talk…

July 13, 2009

So… 

Who are YOU rooting for from So You Think You Can Dance?

Me? I’m hoping Melissa takes the whole thing. If not Melissa, then Kayla. Anyone else and I will be very, very sad.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.