My world has shifted. In three weeks, or four, or something, it will shift back to the reality I am used to and love. Work, love my job (mostly). Home with hubby and cat. Mostly quiet weekends. Mostly quiet life.

It looks so different right now.

It’s filled with hellos to strangers. Many of whom also have family members in the hospital- a hospital. We’re in an area where there are five of them.

We meet lots of people who are transplant patients or who are with transplant patients.

The patients themselves look tired. Worn around the edges. If they are pre-transplant, they are yellow. Everywhere. The whites of their eyes have become the yellow of their eyes. Their skin is jaundiced. Nail beds are yellow.

The move slowly, as though moving through putty to do anything. Their mouths are dry, and often they open them and move their tongues from side to side as though… hoping that will wet their mouth?

They shuffle along the halls in what seems to be a futile attempt to keep the swelling in their legs and feet down. Some push IV poles and others push empty wheelchairs. Some have large, distended bellies and other’s bellies have been tapped and don’t look so bad.

Then there’s the family members. They walk around looking worried and guilty. If we’re in the hospital they look worried. If we’re not in the hospital, they look guilty. Most of them are wives. They are tired. Some of them are watching every bite their husband (or family member) puts in their mouth. Others are feeding them food they most definitely shouldn’t be having.

It’s a world of “Will the doctor stop by today?” and “Is Stephanie on? She’s his favorite nurse”. A world of what did you eat for lunch? Did you drink anything? Did you poop? Your pee looks like iced tea.

It’s a whole other world. Not my world, although I seem to be doing ok. I hope this is a world we’re all not a part of for long. It’s not a bad world in that people are nice. But everyone here is waiting. Hoping. Crossing their fingers for one call, or one person to walk in the door and tell them a transplant is coming! Waiting waiting waiting.