Monthly Archive

I’ve started up a little… possible business venture. If you haven’t checked out my pic site, check it out: http://landscapeofpaige.wordpress.com. If you check it often, please don’t click over, there’s still not anything new. Please don’t hate me, guys, life has been crazy.

I’d like to start a new business. I’d like to photograph children. I’d like to go to people’s homes- not in a portrait kind of way- but in their natural setting and environments, and spend some time with the kids. Behind the camera. Produce great, non-posed (for the most part) photographs.

I did two photo shoots. I borrowed friends kids- not Caleb and Ellie- and took 1-2 hours to shoot them.

Now I’m spending inordinate amounts of time editing those pictures.

As I wrote to my sister and mom, I feel like a teenager inside. All angsty and quivery and full of self-doubt. I had so much fun taking the pictures, and love the way some of them have come out. I’m  having alot of fun editing the pictures- it’s fun to compare a picture from how it starts out once it’s done editing. I love pictures that are great straight out of the camera. This is something that I might get paid for, but that I love and am having fun doing.

I’m still not sure about making this a business. If I charge money to take pictures- well, it’s not like taking pictures of my niece and nephew. I take their pictures and often get awesome pictures:

They just come. It feels natural. I don’t feel pressure. I’m not trying too hard. I am who I am, with a camera, and they are who they are- my niece and nephew. If I charge money, then people other than myself need to be pleased with the results. I know that my sister likes the pictures I take of her kids, but she doesn’t have to. I like them, but neither one of us is paying me for pictures. It’s more pressure when someone else has expectations of what they would like from you.

I wonder if I try to do it for others will it always feel like I’m trying too hard? Like I’ll never be good enough?

This is one of the pics I took for a friend. I don’t want to use many of the other ones I have, because I didn’t get her permission to post pictures of her children. I like how it came out. Will she? Will anyone want to pay me to take their children’s picture? Khalil tells me that I’ll become good- that this is something I love, and I’ll get to the point where I’m all professional-like. It’s just that I’m not used to being unsure of myself in a whole lot.

** for the record, this post is not meant in any way as a searching-for-compliments kind of post. It’s a way to get out all the jumblies I have inside when I think of starting a new and exciting but very, very scary venture in my life.**

Yesterday was the first day I have even been PROUD of a score or 76.

Which is what I got on my social work licensing exam. A 70 is passing, and I scored a 76. I couldn’t be more proud.

This is the culmination of two years of blood, sweat, tears, supervision, and studying since I got my MSW. I’m so happy.

2007 may not be a total loss, after all.

It’s weird when you go to therapy. And you think that, if handed a question, you’d say one thing. Then out of your mouth pops this whole other thing that was totally unexpected.

Like, for instance. You are supposed to say something to your dad. You think that you’d probably tell him you miss him.

Instead you tell him how sorry you are.

Huh. If nothing else, therapy sure is food for thought.