I’ve started up a little… possible business venture. If you haven’t checked out my pic site, check it out: http://landscapeofpaige.wordpress.com. If you check it often, please don’t click over, there’s still not anything new. Please don’t hate me, guys, life has been crazy.

I’d like to start a new business. I’d like to photograph children. I’d like to go to people’s homes- not in a portrait kind of way- but in their natural setting and environments, and spend some time with the kids. Behind the camera. Produce great, non-posed (for the most part) photographs.

I did two photo shoots. I borrowed friends kids- not Caleb and Ellie- and took 1-2 hours to shoot them.

Now I’m spending inordinate amounts of time editing those pictures.

As I wrote to my sister and mom, I feel like a teenager inside. All angsty and quivery and full of self-doubt. I had so much fun taking the pictures, and love the way some of them have come out. I’m  having alot of fun editing the pictures- it’s fun to compare a picture from how it starts out once it’s done editing. I love pictures that are great straight out of the camera. This is something that I might get paid for, but that I love and am having fun doing.

I’m still not sure about making this a business. If I charge money to take pictures- well, it’s not like taking pictures of my niece and nephew. I take their pictures and often get awesome pictures:

They just come. It feels natural. I don’t feel pressure. I’m not trying too hard. I am who I am, with a camera, and they are who they are- my niece and nephew. If I charge money, then people other than myself need to be pleased with the results. I know that my sister likes the pictures I take of her kids, but she doesn’t have to. I like them, but neither one of us is paying me for pictures. It’s more pressure when someone else has expectations of what they would like from you.

I wonder if I try to do it for others will it always feel like I’m trying too hard? Like I’ll never be good enough?

This is one of the pics I took for a friend. I don’t want to use many of the other ones I have, because I didn’t get her permission to post pictures of her children. I like how it came out. Will she? Will anyone want to pay me to take their children’s picture? Khalil tells me that I’ll become good- that this is something I love, and I’ll get to the point where I’m all professional-like. It’s just that I’m not used to being unsure of myself in a whole lot.

** for the record, this post is not meant in any way as a searching-for-compliments kind of post. It’s a way to get out all the jumblies I have inside when I think of starting a new and exciting but very, very scary venture in my life.**