So yesterday my mom said, “Can I ask you a question?”
I got a wee bit nervous at that and said, “You can ask whatever you want, but that doesn’t mean I’ll answer it” and we both kind of laughed.
She then asked if we are still “trying”. I wanted to be a smart-ass and tell her that no, I am in fact no longer trying to lose weight, I just don’t care anymore. Or say yes, we are in fact both trying to deal with the fact that we both hate our jobs and want new ones. I didn’t though. I answered her and told her yes, we are trying. It is in fact stupid to tell infertile people to not try, no matter what scary disease you’re not sure they have. Khalil and I both laugh about the day we sat at one of our many doctors visits. He more or less told us that we were not going to get pregnant without the help of IVF. After we told him the plan to start IVF sometime next year, when I’m cleared from the scary disease I probably don’t have, he then asked us what we were doing to prevent pregnancy. I wanted to tell him having sex seems to be working great for us. Can we just keep doing that?? I also wanted to tell him that he just. told. us. that we’re not going to get pregnant on our own. Was he listening to himself? At ALL?
So anyways. I told my mom briefly about that, and that yes, we were still trying. But that I had just gotten my period, so it was going- well, as expected, I suppose.
Fast forward to this morning. My mom and I are chatting and she appears to be getting even braver with the questions. She proceeded to ask me (and this is probably the fourth time someone has asked me this, including clients at work) if I put my legs up on the wall after we have sex.
I told her in no uncertain terms that I was not having THIS particular conversation with her, and she then told me that she learned everything she knows from TV. I love my mom so much, and I know that she cares. I know her asking is her way of saying she’s thinking of us and hoping things are going ok. I know it’s her way of telling me she cares what’s going on with me.
But I really cannot discuss intimate details of my sex life with my mother. I cannot. The internet, perhaps. Not my mom.
4 comments
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November 6, 2007 at 6:24 am
cecily
Hahaha… yes, I too would rather tell the internet my secrets than my mother!
November 6, 2007 at 2:19 pm
katebny
Be prepared for more of the suggestions for how to get pregnant. There’s many - let’s see - go on vacation, eat pineapple, pray, don’t drink coffee, just relax and then the old “adopt a baby and you’ll get pregnant” like it’s a buy one get one free. People mean well, but it can hurt. You have to kind of toughen yourself up for it - come up with stock responses to the questions and suggestions.
November 6, 2007 at 9:56 pm
Cindy
Got here via Baggage.
When we were ttc, my husband’s aunt told me to do the same thing and was about the tenth time I’d heard it. Bless her heart, she just happened to hit me on the wrong day with the sex advice. (she also said I should prop up with pillows during intercourse) I just smiled sweetly at this older, very proper and polite lady, and said, “well, I guess we could try that but we do it like dogs so we’d have to move quick.”
I really did say that. And she never said or asked ANYTHING about ttc again. I really wanted to have a shirt printed up but I’m not always that ballsy. I still can’t believe I said that.
Anyway, what you are going through sucks. Just wanted to stop in and NOT say “relax” or “go on vacation” or “prop your legs up”.
I will say hang in there and know you’re not alone.
November 7, 2007 at 11:02 am
merseydotes
Wait, someone already gave you the “legs on the wall” tip? Damn.
My mom has hinted about whether or not we’re still trying and I just pray she doesn’t ask anything more specific. Because she is going to get way more information than she ever wanted to know.