I’m still undecided about what to do with my bloggity blog over here.

There are a couple of things going on. The first is that Khalil and I are looking at a major undertaking. I’ve found in the last few months that this is one of those things that, if you can’t talk about it, you find yourself not saying anything at all. And I a little too present here to be able to fully share what we are doing and still feel comfortable. It’s huge, and scary, and exciting. But I can’t really share, because it also involves someone else’s personal information.

The other thing is that I have not had much else to say.

And lastly… well, the truth is I’ve been having a hard time. I work, and then come home, and the only thing I want to do when I am home is lay on our pretty new couches. I don’t want to check my e-mail, or check my other blogs, and least of all blog. I’m very much wanting to escape the world. I am coming into a hard time. February has been hard because almost every day this month I have been trying to remember- or not remember, depending on the day- what I was doing this time last year. I expect March to be much of the same.

I want to talk about it, but to talk about it means to face it. Which is something I do not want to do. I am fully aware that I need to, and that I need to walk through it. One of the best ways for me to work out my grief is by writing about it. But that also makes me cry.

I don’t want to give up blogging altogether. I like writing, and I like that it also keeps me connected to the friends that I know in real life that read, and the friends that I have “met” through this medium.

I don’t know where to go from here, necessarily. I know that something has to change, if I’m going to keep blogging, I’m just not sure what. So I’m sorry for those of you  (jenn) who keep refreshing and those of you (shannon) who check their e-mail for updates. I’ll figure it out.