I’ve been a social worker for a long time. If you ask when I knew I wanted to become a social worker, or how I knew- I just knew. I have known since sometime in high school. I always knew I wanted to help. I wanted to do something with my life that gave to others. I didn’t really want to teach, and I’m too squeamish for nursing. Or to be a doctor, for that matter. And as much as I love school, at that point I didn’t want to do that much school.
It was just a few years ago, maybe three, that I started thinking I really liked photography. I liked the feeling of holding a camera in my hand and envisioning pictures. I loved capturing people’s personality on camera. I especially love capturing children’s personalities on camera. There’s something incredible special that I love about that. Posed pictures are nice, and there’s certainly a place for them, but it’s doubtful I’ll ever open a portrait studio. I’d prefer to catch people being who they are, living their life.
The thing about photography that is different from social work is that it is art. You take a piece of yourself and create something else. If you are brave, you put that piece of yourself out there for the world to see, and judge. People may love what you love, or they may hate it. Doing photography has opened me up in a way nothing else has. It has allowed me to express myself in a whole different way. It has given me a way to grow, and learn.
I am a good social worker. I’m not perfect, and I will always have days where I wonder what I am doing and why. I love what I do, and I’ve spent a long time getting better at it. I hope I am always learning and growing as a social worker. But it’s something I’m confident and comfortable doing. While there is always room to grow, I’ll never be a complete novice as a social worker again.
There’s something to be said about being a novice. It’s humbling. I’ve learned SO much about photography in the last few years. I am at the point where I can even show other people things about photography. But I know there’s so much more I have to learn. And that, while overwhelming at times, is so exciting. I love the feeling of learning, and being challenged. I like to overcome challenges.
And talk about overwhelming. Turning your art into a business. I tried this once, and I failed miserably. I never got past the point of making business cards for myself. I never handed them out. It never went anywhere. This time I have a partner, someone who knows what she is doing business-wise. She has many things to teach me. And thank God for her, because I’d probably just have new business cards and do nothing with them. There’s so much to do when you start a business. And it’s scary! Did you guys know that, apparently, it’s expected that you report a loss your first year in business??? Like, you’re not supposed to make money the first year? How do people without jobs do it? Then there’s contracts, etc. It’s all just overwhelming.
But so, exciting. It’s challenging, and fun, and overwhelming, and quite possibly one of the most exciting things I’ve done in a long time. Just for me.
