You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'photography' category.
Last night, we had an ice storm. When I woke up, the world was covered. I took some pictures before I left for work this morning. If I had taken my camera out beyond my yard, I would never have gotten anywhere today. All I wanted to do all day was take photos- the world was so beautiful, covered in a layer of ice.
A fun comparison:
The forsythia today:
The forsythia in May:
I was out until my fingers were too cold. I loved it.
But I forgot that I LOVE this series of shots too! From Turkey Day, my husband, his mom, and great uncle taking shots:
Have website name and URL for business.
Have gotten access to c-panel (the control panel).
Am totally lost. Determined to figure it out, but lost nonetheless. Will emerge sometime. I hope.
Halfway there!!! WOOT!
Questions from Baggage, Part Two:
she asks:
If you had a million dollars what would you buy? Do you like abstract art? What is a fear you have overcome?
**************************
If you had a million dollars what would you buy?
For starters, a house. For me. Then one for my sister. That’s in the same town as me.
After that new cars. We’d invest alot.
I’d buy a year off, maybe?
This question is hard. What would you really buy?? Would I just blow it all on a million dollar house? Would I buy a reasonable house, reasonable cars, and retirement? Would I buy us some time off? oh- I’d definitely buy us unlimited amounts of IVF so even if the first one doesn’t work we’re not stuck with no options.
I’d like to think I’d do something charitable with it. I don’t know what though. Oh- I would buy my husband some rare comic books. I know what else! I’d buy myself all the camera equipment I need. And someone to build me a friggin website already.
It’s random, no? That’s my version of what would you buy free association.
Do you like abstract art?
I do not. I’ve never understood it. I like art that tells a story, or has a meaning or a purpose behind it. I’m not saying that abstract art doesn’t, don’t get me wrong. I just never understand what the story is. So it’s not my style.
What is a fear you have overcome?
At first I thought there were no fears that I had overcome. I mean, I have a fear of fire, and I watch Rescue Me, does that count? I’m not running into burning buildings though.
One that I overcame was the fear of people above me. I used to think of bosses and higher administration as some kind of higher power, I think. I was scared to share my opinion or disagree. I mostly did ok with direct supervisors but anytime someone above them said boo to me, I said, “Ok!”. In the last few years though, I have learned that in general they don’t bite. And if I trust my judgement, often they will as well. They are just people, too. What a weird fear, huh?
The other one I’m working on overcoming is my fear of my own creativity. I KNOW! These are so weird! I’ve never, ever, ever thought of myself as creative. I’m relational, and insightful, and fairly intelligent, but never creative. When you ask me for ideas of what to draw, my mind goes blank. Where people can look at fabric, or paints, or clay, or any other creative medium and see things, I see white. It’s always frustrated me, because I’ve always been impressed with people who are creative. I’ve always wanted to be an artsy-fartsy type. I admire people who are in touch with that part of themselves. I act a little disdaining towards it, mostly because I am jealous.
And then came photography. I don’t claim to be the world’s best photographer, but I like it. I love it. I love taking my camera and my mind seeing things that I can do with it. I love when it works, in the way that drawing never did. I could never get the pictures to match what my mind saw. Photography’s not like that. When I have the camera, my mind just starts seeing pictures. They don’t always come out the way I envision them, but sometimes they do. And those are beautiful moments for me.
A big piece in me overcoming this fear is actually doing something with it besides framing my own photographs and hanging them in our bedroom. To put myself out there as a photographer takes alot of guts for me. I feel like it says something about me that I have doubts about saying. It says, “you take pictures, and you’re good at it.” When people ask I tell them I’m learning, an amateur, or getting started. All of which is true.
But I love doing it, and I keep doing it. I’m proud of myself for that.
The one in which my sister dies a little inside.
I’ve found her up there just sitting prissily. Of course the second I get the camera she moves.
Really. I just can’t do it. I mean, I can. I just don’t want to. Or like to. Or seem to be able to find any motivation to do so.
Seriously. For the longest time my big whine was “I don’t want to get up early in the morning!”
Twice now I’ve gotten up. Monday I got up and went “walking” which really means I took my camera out and took some pictures. Today I got up and…. got up. And didn’t exercise. WTF? I wasted waking up early. To not exercise.
Since I’m not getting skinnier, here are a few of the pics from Monday’s “exercise”.
Blurry, I know, but a good picture of the colors of fall in New England!
Early morning sky
Last remnant of summer
Isn’t she cute?
On Saturday I had the privledge of meeting Jack:
(bottom right is big sister Molly kissing Jack’s toes).
Congratulations to Joe, Brett, and Molly. Jack, you’re one heartbreaker already.
This week has been shitt-ay. So to end the week with a bang, I’m not going to moan about the crap that the week has brought. I’m going to talk about the good stuff.
To start, today and tomorrow: I’m meeting a friend in a town between us (we live 7 or so hours from each other) and we’re getting a hotel. She’s pregnant and I’m missing her baby shower, so we’re having our own girls weekend/ baby shower. It will be nice to spend the time with her, because once that baby comes that will be a long while coming! I’m happy about seeing her though.
It is a good thing that the nice police officer who pulled me over for speeding only to discover my registration had expired in October 06 didn’t tow my car and revoke my license. *phew*
It was awesome to see my sister, mom, niece and nephew this week. It’s good to be with family. Caleb and Ellie are getting so big and anytime I ever think I miss California I only have to look at them and how big they are and how close they are to me and know that I made the right choice in coming home.
It’s good that the work stuff that made me cry all week is more or less sorted out. Work was horrible this week. One of my kids ended up losing her foster home and another one ended up losing the school he had been working for forever. Neither of those losses was their fault, and it was hard to help them sort it out when I was having a hard time sorting thast stuff out.
Khalil ended up having a good week with his goddaughter. She’s going through some really hard things right now. Wednesday was horrible but yesterday they were able to shop for a bookbag, go to the zoo, and enjoy the day. It was a nice way to end for them.
I didn’t need to eat crap this week to help me deal with my stress. This is the week I started back on the Diabetic Exchange, and I didn’t once feel the need to make poor decisions given my emotional state. What a freeing feeling- I can only hope it lasts. However, I’m just taking one day at a time. Like the alchies. ha.
I still have so, so, so much. My husband, my family, my cat, my health (mostly), a roof, clothes, my husband, my family, good friends. Sometimes I wonder how I dare ask for more?
friends.
husband.
family
life is good.
I’ve started up a little… possible business venture. If you haven’t checked out my pic site, check it out: http://landscapeofpaige.wordpress.com. If you check it often, please don’t click over, there’s still not anything new. Please don’t hate me, guys, life has been crazy.
I’d like to start a new business. I’d like to photograph children. I’d like to go to people’s homes- not in a portrait kind of way- but in their natural setting and environments, and spend some time with the kids. Behind the camera. Produce great, non-posed (for the most part) photographs.
I did two photo shoots. I borrowed friends kids- not Caleb and Ellie- and took 1-2 hours to shoot them.
Now I’m spending inordinate amounts of time editing those pictures.
As I wrote to my sister and mom, I feel like a teenager inside. All angsty and quivery and full of self-doubt. I had so much fun taking the pictures, and love the way some of them have come out. I’m having alot of fun editing the pictures- it’s fun to compare a picture from how it starts out once it’s done editing. I love pictures that are great straight out of the camera. This is something that I might get paid for, but that I love and am having fun doing.
I’m still not sure about making this a business. If I charge money to take pictures- well, it’s not like taking pictures of my niece and nephew. I take their pictures and often get awesome pictures:
They just come. It feels natural. I don’t feel pressure. I’m not trying too hard. I am who I am, with a camera, and they are who they are- my niece and nephew. If I charge money, then people other than myself need to be pleased with the results. I know that my sister likes the pictures I take of her kids, but she doesn’t have to. I like them, but neither one of us is paying me for pictures. It’s more pressure when someone else has expectations of what they would like from you.
I wonder if I try to do it for others will it always feel like I’m trying too hard? Like I’ll never be good enough?
This is one of the pics I took for a friend. I don’t want to use many of the other ones I have, because I didn’t get her permission to post pictures of her children. I like how it came out. Will she? Will anyone want to pay me to take their children’s picture? Khalil tells me that I’ll become good- that this is something I love, and I’ll get to the point where I’m all professional-like. It’s just that I’m not used to being unsure of myself in a whole lot.
** for the record, this post is not meant in any way as a searching-for-compliments kind of post. It’s a way to get out all the jumblies I have inside when I think of starting a new and exciting but very, very scary venture in my life.**
